Why I won’t buy the 2032 Dodge RAM

It might seem weird to talk about a truck that’s nearly a decade away. But here’s my history with Dodge RAM: (I know some of you drop the word “Dodge”, but no)

My 2002 Dodge Ram 1500

My 2012 Ram 1500 Big Horn, looking squatted with that fat trailer

My 2022 Ram 2500 Tradesman

So, I have three decades of RAM trucks, all of them very attractive. So, here’s some history:


  • As evidenced by the image, it probably was ready to go out. It was a pretty strong truck, but I bought it VERY used and it shown. Fate? Totalled.
  • Transmission blew on it
  • Front differential driveshaft splines stripped
  • Rearend went out on it
  • Water poured out of the grab handle
  • Probably more


  • This thing was a beast, I put a ton of miles on it, drove it all over the US, moved across IL with it — twice (to storage and then from storage), rebuilt our old 1937 farmhouse and used that to do all of the heavy lifting, pulled a 33′ trailer with it for camping, and then again moved to Texas (three times, counting storage and temporary housing).
  • The electronics were plagued, thing would just randomly lock me out of it, windows would stop working, etc. I replaced the switches and still the same issues.
  • It had a nasty tick, which I thought was a valve knock, but turns out to actually be a cracked exhaust manifold bolt due to dissimilar metals. You’d think they’d have learned from the terrible late 80’s Ford 3.8L V6’s head gaskets. This was replaced under warranty. Happened again.
  • While pulling the UHaul from IL to TX, I thought I had an issue with how I loaded the trailer. When I would accelerate or decelerate, the entire truck’s rearend would shimmy what felt like 6 inches. Turns out it would do this without the UHaul too. Had to replace four axle links on the back.
  • The differential or something started making noise, didn’t want to deal with the fix. I should have.


  • The “Tradesman” is the base model truck, granted it’s a 2500, so it’s not on the same tier at all, but it’s “Base”. I bought this because I hate the feeling of leather seats and, in Texas, that’s how you lose your back skin. I hate bluetooth because it’s a garbage technology. I hate telematics. I wanted something that I can drive and did the work I needed.

Some of this isn’t inherently the truck’s fault, because the area I live in is full of entitled people who unapologetically drive terribly and I was rear ended with 22 miles on the odometer. I was driving it home from the dealership.

The rest, however…

The bluetooth disconnects constantly. I hardwire in with the USB-C cable, it still drops.

I keep getting errors on my dash about needing to take it to the dealership due to a U-Connect issue.

First time I took it they told me “This will be fixed in Q42022 with an OTA Update”.

Cool, that’s in 3 months, I guess I have to wait and see an error every time I get in my brand new truck.

I’m lazy and busy, and I don’t get a chance to take it back until last month — August 2023. Same error, this time however the dealership manages to do diagnostics and tells me the “Telematics module” failed, as well as the “headphone jack” and “antenna”.

I understand the CAN bus and all of that, but an antenna really shouldn’t need to generate a code. It’s a solid piece of metal, and the headphone jack — what part of this is generating a code? Unless, perhaps these are radio code checking continuity or impedance, and still. Annoying.

I’m not sure what a “Telematics module” is, but it sounds like something that phones home about my own, entitled and unapologetic driving. I’m not into that.

They replace it, and a week later, the error is back.

Now the unit at least is begging for updates.

In short, I bought a $50,000 cellphone.

I’m pretty salty about that. Phones are expensive and need to be replaced almost annually, because either they stop working or they enable a “grease” mode where they purposefully slip out of your hand or a “sneeze” mode where it uses a small explosive under the gorilla glass to break the screen. Maybe I made those up, seems provable by symptom though.

Anybody looking to buy this, it’s for sale. I’m going to find something pre-OBD2 that won’t make me go through emissions and building my own control systems for it.

But hey: Let’s just be happy it doesn’t have a Bow Tie.






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